Writing & Recognition

Writing

Reductress Book Club Headline February 2025 - ‘Audiobooks Count as Reading!’ Says Woman Who Thought About Dogs Wearing Sweaters for Entire Listening Session

Reductress Book Club Headline February 2025 - Masochistic Woman Only Reads Dystopian Novels

Reductress Book Club Headline February 2025 - E-Book User Obsessed With New Device Smell

*DEBUT* Jenny Magazine Personal Essay January 2025 - I Found Out I Had MS but Didn’t Let It Stop Me From Taking the Trip of a Lifetime

*DEBUT* Little Old Lady Comedy Piece December 2024 - Mrs. Claus Gets Honest About Christmas

The Musk Magazine Headline December 2024 - Man Decides To Do Own Research After Lady Doctor Diagnoses Him With Cancer

The Belladonna Piece December 2024 - Forget Finding Love With a Small Town Widower, This Hallmark Movie Woman Just Wants to Get Laid

The Belladonna Contributor November 2024 - What The Belladonnas Are Black Friday Shopping for This Year

The Belladonna Piece November 2024 - How to Humor: Finding a Unique Angle on a Common Topic

The Musk Magazine Headline November 2024 - Formula 1 Car Put Down After Suffering Blown Out Tire

The Musk Magazine Headline November 2024 - Man Mourns End Of Yard Work Season

The Musk Magazine Headline November 2024 - Man Frantically Searches FanDuel To Bet On Child’s Soccer Game

The Musk Magazine Contributor November 2024 - The Official Alpha Male Guide to Voting - “Make sure to cancel out your wife’s hysteria vote.”

McSweeney’s Piece October 2024 - How Far We’ve Come Since 2016: Election Edition

The Musk Magazine Headline September 2024 - Cybertruck Doing Heavy Lifting Of Proclaiming Man A Douchebag

The Belladonna Co-Collaborator on a Piece September 2024 - T-Shirts That Speak for the Infertile

The Belladonna Piece August 2024 - How to Humor: Working With Other Collaborators

The Musk Magazine Headline August 2024 - REPORT: Houseplants Sick of Purifying Man’s Fart Air

The Musk Magazine Headline August 2024 - Dad-to-Be Just Hoping for Healthy Toxic Male

Weekly Humorist Piece August 2024 - How I Feel About U.S. Olympic Pommel Horse Specialist Stephen Nedoroscik or Democratic VP Candidate Tim Walz?

The Musk Magazine Contributor August 2024 - Alpha Males Explain How The Women’s Gymnastics Team Could’ve Done Better - “More hand-to-hand combat.”

The Musk Magazine Headline July 2024 - ‘Babe, Can You Keep It Down?’ Says Man to Wife in Labor

The Hard Times Article June 2024 - How to Spice Up Your Sex Life by Having Gordon Ramsay Scream at You to Cum Faster

The Belladonna Contributor June 2024 - How Belladonnas Are Staying Cool In This Heat Wave

The Belladonna Piece June 2024 - Adultz Bop: Children’s Songs Adapted to Reflect the Reality of Adulthood

The Belladonna Piece May 2024 - How to Humor: Leading With a Strong Title

The Musk Magazine Headline May 2024 - How Can I Be Sexist When All of My Employees Are Underpaid Women?

The Musk Magazine Headline May 2024 - Dad Just Acting Out to Get Teenage Son’s Attention

Weekly Humorist Illustrated Piece April 2024 - The Best Bang for Your Buck

*DEBUT* The Hard Times Article April 2024 - How to Tell if the Emotional Walls You Put Up Are Load-Bearing

The Musk Magazine Headline March 2024 - This Senior Dog Is Available for Adoption But You Have to Listen to His Views on Women in the Workplace

Weekly Humorist Piece March 2024 - Conversations Between a Woman and the Dog She’s Unknowingly Dating on ‘Love Is Blind’

*DEBUT* The Musk Magazine Headline March 2024 - Dad That Refers to His Family as ‘Team’ Looking to Make Midseason Trade

The Belladonna Piece February 2024 - Everything I, an Elder Millennial, Am Thinking as I Approach This Group of Teens

*DEBUT* McSweeney’s Piece February 2024 - How Far We’ve Come Since 2016

Weekly Humorist Piece January 2024 - I’m a Horse, and I Never Asked to Be Anyone’s Therapist

Reductress Headline August 2023 - ‘I Would Do So Many Interesting Things If I Didn’t Have to Work,’ Says Woman Who Would Mostly Sleep

Reductress Headline July 2023 - Goals! This Smoke Detector Screamed Until It Got What It Wanted

Reductress Headline June 2023 - DUDE CORNER: I Want Everyone to Notice My Very Loud Engine, but Especially My Dad

Reductress Headline and Article June 2023 - Having a Chronic Illness Doesn’t Define Me, But It Does Get Me Out of Helping People Move

The Belladonna Contributor June 2023 - The Belladonna Writers Share Their Summer Plans

Reductress Headline June 2023 - People-Pleasing Woman Gives Soul to Devil Without Him Even Asking

*DEBUT* Weekly Humorist Piece June 2023 - If Famous Crime Movies Revolved Around Kohl’s Cash

Reductress Headline May 2023 - The 5 Best Sandals for Men That Are All Closed-Toed Shoes

Reductress Headline May 2023 - How to Crochet Without Sacrificing the Slutty Persona You’ve Carefully Cultivated

*DEBUT* The Belladonna Piece April 2023 - Friends: The One Where Rachel Explores Her Reproductive Options

Reductress Headline March 2023 - Unprofessional? This Kid Running a Lemonade Stand Doesn’t Even Have a LinkedIn

Reductress Headline February 2023 - Help! I Made My Husband a Man Cave and Now He Won’t Shut the Fuck Up About Stalagmites

Reductress Headline December 2022 - ‘I Did a Thing!’ Says Woman Who Fucked One of These Guys

Reductress Headline November 2022 - Did You Know? Pregnant Women Hold Their Bumps Like That Because Otherwise the Little Fucker Would Fall Out

Reductress Headline October 2022 - Folksy! Midwestern Boyfriend Orders Side of Ranch Before Eating You Out

Reductress Headline September 2022 - I LIVED IT: I Went on a Haunted Hayride and a Kid Thought I Was Part of It

Reductress Headline July 2022 - Help! I Worked on Loving My Body Too Much and Now I Can’t Stop Masturbating

Reductress Headline June 2022 - Why I Quit Botox and Started Obscuring My Face Like the Neighbor From ‘Home Improvement’

Reductress Headline April 2022 - Why I’m Rejecting Diet Culture and Consuming as Many Microplastics as I Want

Reductress Headline March 2022 - Blowjob Tips That Are All Pretending His Dick Is an Outshine Fruit Bar

Reductress Topical Headline December 2021 - Joe Manchin Looking Forward to Receiving Lump of Coal Money This Christmas

Reductress Headline September 2021 - How to Fill in Your Pubes if You Overplucked in the 90s

Reductress Headline August 2021 - Woman Putting All Her Demons on Display Through Little Sayings on Accent Pillows

Reductress Headline June 2021 - How to Support Saving the Bees Even Though They Were Responsible for the Death of Your Childhood Best Friend

Reductress Headline June 2021 - Wow! This Plant Requires Very Little Water but You Have to Sing ‘My Humps’ to It Three Times a Day

Reductress Headline April 2021 - Eggplant Recipes That Aren’t Just Adding Some Limes to Make a Dick and Balls

Reductress Headline March 2021 - Wow! This Dog Didn’t Freak Out When She Learned Her Birthday Meant Aging 7 Years

Reductress Headline March 2021 - Instead of a Husband and Children, Here’s Why I’m Filling My Home With LED Mood Lights

Reductress Headline February 2021 - Sea Shanty TikToks Your Shipwrecked Husband Will Unfortunately Never Hear

Reductress Headline November 2020 - Too Far? This Man Plays the Banjo

Reductress Topical Headline October 2020 - Fly on Pence’s Head is Shocked This Blew Up, Thinks You Should Check Out His SoundCloud

Reductress Headline September 2020 - Killing It! Woman Plans Entire Week’s Meals Around 8-Pack of Hamburger Buns

*DEBUT* Reductress Headline and Article August 2020 - How to Not Bring Up Your Vagina When You Run Into Your Gynecologist at Whole Foods